where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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