Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
