Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
