i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
