do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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