He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize