You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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