Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
