yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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