i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
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