I must be too annoying 4 u.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So squirting runs in the family.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
