At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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