I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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