My nipple is on Facebook.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize