No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
50% drunk capacity currently
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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