on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
