Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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