Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
