I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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