I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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