Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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