so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
