he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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