Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sext me about skeletons
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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