i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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