is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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