i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
