There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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