She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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