why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
