let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize