real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
