hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
