She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Michael Bay diarrhea
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
