This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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