Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Even my vagina gasped.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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