I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
love makes seman taste better
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize