he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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