The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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