Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
