I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize