69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
