I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
