careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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