My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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