there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
love makes seman taste better
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
