its not stalking. its research.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
