I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
