p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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