talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
