I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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