porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
