Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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