my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
