My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
