remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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