As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
