It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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