Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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