how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
