Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
