There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
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Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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