There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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